The mom car. February 10, 2010

I am on the market for a new car and I’m having trouble deciding what to get.  When I went to the car dealership the sales rep asked me what I wanted and I said “something cute, small, and safe”.  Those were pretty much my only requirements.  I really want a prius but I don’t want to spend the money on one when I know the car I really want comes out in two  years and I WILL get it!!  Until then I need a car that can handle my impulsive road trips, drive like a snowmobile in the snow, take a beating from sippy cup spills, and keep my baby safe.  I also need for it not to be 15k and above seeing as though I’ll be selling it soon.

Now that I’m a mom my thought process on cars is different.  Before I found out I was pregnant I was planning on getting a smart car.  I lived in LA so the weather permitted and it was cute!  Smart car with a baby?  Probably not the best idea. Ffor me at least.   I also have to think of space for the kid.  Is he going to need space for his soccer equipment, tricycle, and friends for carpool trade off?  I would hate to be the mom that says I have no room because I have the cute little car.  I loved using that excuse in college when I had a ford Escort, not so much for motherhood.  I do not want a big SUV, even a hybrid still leaves a pretty big carbon footprint.  What happens when I have more kids?  Am I automatically on the market for a minivan?  I think I can safely say I will never drive a mini-van.  Just doesn’t suit my chi well.

What to do? What to do?  I do know one thing!  Seeing this Kia commercial really makes me want a Kia Sorento!!

Aww kids do the sweetest things! February 5, 2010

For those of you who follow me on twitter (@shopturtlepie) you know that I caught my son’s daycare cooties and have been sick for the last few days.  I have turned the corner for better so for that I am pleased!  This am was not so good.  I took my S.O. (aka my kids dad) to the airport this am and when I came back the kid was still sleep.  Perfect, I would get to take a little cat nap!  Of course he was in my bed so I couldn’t go in my room and jump in the bed.  I dare not wake him, I couldn’t even get a pillow.  I laid on the floor in the living room next to the fire place and prepared to sleep.  I left my room door ajar just a bit so he could come out when he woke up.

About 45 mins into my nap I hear Agya saying “mooooooooooooooooom”, “mooooooooooooooooom”! So I mumbled something through my congested haze and he made his way over to where I was.  I didn’t even see him but I felt him lay down next to me.  He rubbed my head and said “pillow” and pointed to the towel that I had on the floor instead of a pillow.  He kissed me and said ” ne ne mommy” which means sleepytime in Japanese.  At that moment even through my sickened stupor I realized I am the luckiest woman on earth.  How could anyone be more sweet and caring?  Who wouldn’t want to wake up to something like that?  Even though on most mornings I wake up to demands of waffles and applesauce this particular moment makes it all worth it.

www.shopturtlepie.com

Can the stress of motherhood drive you to drinking? February 3, 2010

moms helping moms:-)

I finally caught up with some of the Oprah episodes on my tivo and I saw the episode about interventions.  Of course the one that stood out to me was the mother with the alcohol problem.  Her and her family were featured on the A&E show intervention and clips from the show were aired.  There were clips of her drunk many times in front of her children, I shook my head in sadness.  This is the second time that I’ve seen the topic of drunk moms on Oprah’s show.  On her previous show one of the mother’s who had overcome her alcoholism said the pressures of motherhood drove her to drink.  She began drinking socially with other mom friends and the wine became and escape for her and she just spiraled down.

I took a moment to think, can the pressures of motherhood really be that bad?  My personal answer to that is YES, they can!  Motherhood is the only job that I’ve encountered that comes with no instructions.  No classes, no 24 hour help line, no customer service reps in India waiting to read pre-determined responses off an index card.  The person you are in charge of cannot speak for the first 2 years of your job so you never get an accurate take on what you’re doing right or wrong.  It is almost like being put on an island that you have to figure out how to navigate all by yourself while your tour guide is actually relying on you!

The good thing about that island is your allowed a phone.  You have a wealth of women who have been on the island got off, and got back on.  Their support and help can be the difference between you sinking and swimming.  I have to wonder the mother’s who turned to drinking, was that in lieu of support from other moms?  Where there no moms available to them?  Where they to embarrassed to admit they were clueless? Where the other mom’s not willing to admit that they too were having or have had difficulty?  Any of those or all of those could easily be the case.

Being a mother gives you the ability to nurture more than just your baby.  New moms need experienced moms for guidance.  I know that without my network of mothers and books my pregnancy and early journey through motherhood would have been a lot more difficulty.  There are to many things that go on with your body during pregnancy, with the baby after delivery, with your relationships during both, for you not to have someone to talk to.  I know that at times we like to look like we have it together and we have it all figured out.  Putting on that image, may make someone feel worse about the fact that they can’t get it together.  If you really do have it all together then by all means don’t suppress it to make those of us who don’t, feel better!  However, if you don’t, your willingness to open up may help another mom turn to you instead of something harmful to her.  I have far given up the idea that being the perfect mom is attainable.  My images of motherhood before actually being a mom were so deliriously tainted by sheer lack of knowledge.  If I would have known the meal I spent 3 hours in the kitchen preparing would end up being thrown on the floor just as quickly as the PB&J sandwhich I would have not dreamed of elaborate mealtimes.  If I would have known that all of my tops would have food, barf, poop, and/or juice on them, I would not have dreamed of being such a well dressed mom.  Had I known that my fingers would always be in my sons mouth, and drool would always be in my hair. I would have not imagined myself with perfectly manicured nails and looking as fabulous as Halle Berry post baby.  That is just not my motherhood reality.  The sooner I accepted it the sooner I was able to let it go.  Going to gymboree and seeing 80% of the other moms in clothes that have been “accessorized”, ponytials, and bags under their eyes from no sleep gave me comfort and comradory (according to my spellcheck this is not a word but I belive it is!).  I knew I was not alone, I’m doing all right, and I’m not going to break my kid.  Sometimes that is all that’s needed to get you through another day, that and kisses from that beautiful baby that is causing all of this self reassessment.

Being an experienced mom makes you one of the cool varsity cheer girls.  Take some time to help the JV squad prepare for the homecoming spotlight:-)

I’m actually going to do a big thank you to my varsity mentors!  Lord knows they deserve it for taking my calls at all hours of the day and night with the most mundane questions and comments.  My nursing mentor was clearly the captain!  Nursing (for me at least) required much more pep talk than anything else!

Thank you: Vanya, Tamar, Janelle, Coriya, Natalie, Mom, Lisa S.,Katrina, and all the gymboree moms!  Super special thank you’s to my dad and my sister.  Funny that my dad was actually quite helpful!

www.shopturtlepie.com

The Daycare Debacle February 2, 2010

Daycare!

It is time for me to choose a daycare for the kid.  Happy day and sad day at the same time.  He is in a temporary daycare now for a few weeks so I can get my life together for our move.  That decision was easy.  The daycare is literally on the corner, the price was right, staff is wonderful and they are super kind to me even when I call 5 times a day!

The decision for his new daycare is a bit harder.  I do not currently live in the city we are moving to so I’m going off of suggestions, online ratings, price, and phone conversations.  I found a daycare that I loved until, the director told me the price.  $1600.00 a month and if he’s not potty trained an extra $40.00 for diapering service.  I stuttered on the phone in disbelief as if she had just told me Marc Jacobs was going out of business!!  WTF $1600.00 a month?  The sucky thing is I loved it!! It’s and eco-friendly daycare that severs local and organic food.  To bad so sad get over it right?  Right.  On to the next.

I narrowed it down to two schools that are all within 7 mins of our new place.  I was in Chicago for about 8 hours and decided to go see my main contender.  I went at 2pm it was completely dark and looked closed?  Weird, I called no answer?  It was Monday at 2pm?  I went by the others on my list and they all looked like caves with no playgrounds.  Needless to say I didn’t even go in!  I took a break from my fruitless search to go by a relatives house.  She made some calls and informed me that my first choice was indeed the best place to go.  We called one of her friends that has two children in that particular daycare and turns out they were open!  It was nap time.  During nap time they do not answer the phones, or the door as not to disturb the children sleeping.  Ok not really mad at that.  No problem.  I’ll try again.  After all I know have 6 testimonials telling me how great this place is and I got pricing information from one of them and it’s fairly priced.  I decided to go back by.

After a quick chat with my sons new part-time nanny, I went back by the school at 4pm.  I got an answer at the door, but the director wasn’t there so I couldn’t have a tour as the teachers were busy with the children and couldn’t leave them.  Ok, I wasn’t pleased seeing as though I was headed to the airport but I guess I am happy to know the children come first.  That’s good right? I think I still think so, I’m not so sure.  I’ve left two messages and I haven’t heard back yet.  Sooooooooooo now I don’t know what to do.  This is apparently the holy grail of daycares.  I haven’t gotten a call back because they are “busy” with the children.  Which is great however, I need some attention too!!  I need information!  I want to SEE more than just the entryway to the daycare.

I’m so confused.  I mean there really are no other daycares that I liked.  This one even looks great AND they have a fenced in playground!  Why won’t they call me back?  Did they get word that my kid throws green beans and believes the world revolves around him so in an effort to keep him out they are just not calling me back?

What gives man?  Help!  I’m out of options!

www.shopturtlepie.com

Meatless Monday’s Superbowl edition! February 1, 2010

I’m not much of a Football buff which is why this post is semi late.  I had no idea that Superbowl was this coming Sunday.  Below are some recipes that will keep your party hot and healthy!

Chips and Hummus!

pita chips and hummus!

Both of these items can be store bought so save yourself some time and go for the store bought!!

Vegetarian Sliders

Vegetarian Sliders!! Mmmmmmmmmm!

For someone making these for the first time it can be difficult to picture.  Click the link below and Girl Friday’s blog will show you how to prepare them step by step including pics!

http://girlfriday.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/08/veggie-sliders.html

Veggie Chili Cheese dogs!

Just like at the stadium minus mystery meat!

These are a great alternatives to the mystery meat hotdogs.  Great thing is you can put them on the grill! Click the link below for the recipe.

http://shopturtlepie.wordpress.com/2009/08/25/meatless-monday-making-bad-food-better-edition/

Vegetarian Nachos

Vegetarian Nachos!

Nachos are a staple and here is a great recipe for them from My Recipes.com

http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=1536663

Vegan hot wings

Ok, so this particular recipe does need some labor but the fact that the “meat” is made of garlic, mushrooms, and onions makes it worth it!  This recipe comes to us from vegan dad.

http://vegandad.blogspot.com/2009/08/ultimate-vegan-hot-wingz.html

vegan hot wings!

Just because you don’t eat meat doesn’t mean you can’t have a great party spread!!  Happy Superbowl watching!!

I think I’m going to root for New Orleans because my Nikki is from New Orleans!  Gueax Saints!

www.shopturtlepie.com

Children need to eat by any means necessary!!!!!!!!!!! January 28, 2010

the demand is more then the supply.

“As stated by UNICEF and WHO, no donations of infant formula or powdered milk should be sent to the Haiti emergency. Such donations are difficult to manage logistically, actively detract from the aid effort, and put infant’s lives at risk. Distribution of infant formula should only occur in a strictly controlled manner. Stress does not prevent women from making milk for their babies, and breastfeeding women should not be given any infant formula or powdered milk.”

This was a statement put out by UNICEF and WHO.  A friend of mine posted it on her facebook page today and some of the replies immediately set me off!  I am all for nursing babies.  It is my preferred method of feeding however, everyone cannot and does not do it and that is fine.  The bottom line is that the children be fed.

With the absolute devastation in Haiti to say do not send formula boggles me!!  I understand some of their concerns.  I do.  Yes, clean drinking water is needed to properly prepare baby formula.  You need clean bottles to prepare formula, I get that those things may not be readily available.  However, there are situations where they may be!  So to say not to send formula because you are encouraging breastfeeding is preposterous!  This is not a situation where you are speaking to a group of mother’s who have decided not to nurse for whatever reason and you are withholding formula to change their minds.  Some of these children do not have mother’s to nurse them!  Quite a few don’t.  How, how, how can you encourage not sending them food?

I do understand as well, that since I am not there I can only go by what I see on TV, and the reports that I get from people who are there.  What has remained consistent in both reports is that babies are dying because they do not have food.  End of story.  I watched Solidad O’Brian report from an orphanage where the babies were being fed powdered regular milk because there was no formula.  The problem with that is their systems can’t handle it, they get diarrhea and guess what?  diarrhea can cause death in infants.  So UNICEF are you saying you’d rather them have improper food then proper food because you are encouraging nursing????

When it comes to matters of children people can be very passionate about what is right and what is wrong.  Sometimes that passion can blur reality.  Right now the reality in Haiti is that babies need to eat.  They all do not have mother’s to feed them.  They need to get food the best way they can.  I applaud the wet nurses, and mother’s how have lost their children stepping up to nurse children who need milk however, I’m sure there are more children then women with those capabilities.  I have seen that UNICEF paired with the Human Milk Bank Association as well as a few other breastfeeding organizations and that is wonderful.  My question to them is, isn’t breast milk more perishable then formula?  Do you not still need clean bottles to drink the breast milk?

In my personal opinion this is the time to ban together and do what is necessary to feed the kids. Not discourage one method because it’s not your preferred method.  I think sometimes you just have to believe in people.  We just did a drive in Chicago and in St. Louis for the babies in particular.  Obviously we know there is a water shortage so we sent about 60 cases of bottled water WITH the baby formula.  Imaging how many kids would not have eaten had I heeded this message…..

Here is the letter in it’s entirety.  You can interpret it for yourself.  http://www.usbreastfeeding.org/NewsInformation/NewsRoom/201001BFistheFirstLineofDefense/tabid/166/Default.aspx

www.shopturtlepie.com

“Mommy, why does that man have on a dress?” January 27, 2010

How do you explain this to a kid?

That question is inevitable.  Living in Atlanta I’m sure I’ll get that question way sooner than I hope to.  I’m all for general happiness and doing whatever makes you happy as long as your are not doing anything illegal or harming anyone however, cross dressing is my Achilles heel.  I really try to just ignore it but I can’t.  After the pregnant “man” fiasco, I was revved up for like 3 weeks!

I think the intensity skyrocketed when I moved to West Hollywood.  I knew West Hollywood was the gay epicenter of la and that I don’t have a problem with at all.  What I didn’t know is that there was a transvestite prostitute stop about 3 miles from where I lived.  When I would see the 6ft 7 man walk by in a mini skirt and a wig something just about that would just blow my circuit.  It’s like dude, I can tell you are a man you are 6″7 and wear a size 14 shoe!

All of that being said, how do I talk to the to the kid the man who has a more fabulous bag and shoe game then his mother standing next to us calling out to another man similarly dressed that “he better work!”.  How do I explain that?  Obviously I don’t want him to hear the disgust in my voice.  I will have no part in my son disliking anyone because of their race, religion, sexual preference, smell, whatever!  My son will be exposed to all kinds of different people from all walks of life.  It is just the extreme cross dressing I have a problem with.  I think it may also be the attitude that goes with some of it that is more bothersome.  In my profession I tend to come across more of the flamboyant ones and that could also be the problem.  Please stop yelling “Hey bitch” and “boo” and snapping at me!!!  Stop referring to  yourself as a woman, girl, chick, bitch, homegirl, ect.  It just drives me up a wall!  I have tried so hard to get it and be at peace with it but it seems as though I just have not been able to.

This one is not sooo bad.

At the Real Housewives of Atlanta premier I saw a “particular” man decked out in glitter thigh high boots, a bustier, and super spandex calling out to a 6 year old girl who was running from him.  He just kept yelling “boo, boo boo, don’t run from me”.  She hid behind her mom and I wanted to just turn to him and say please stop bothering this littler girl.  She was the daughter of one of the cast members of the show so I’m sure she was at least familiar with the man but seriously.  She is 6!

A man who wears a skirt as a fashion statement is ok with me, a man who wears a skirt because he believes he is a woman is not.  I think I want to be ok with it simply because I don’t want to pass a dislike to an innocent child.  However, at the same time I don’t want to be ok with it, because I just don’t get the need for it.  I did attempt to have a convo with one transvestite who had actually had the top half done but still his kibbles and bits and I really did want to just try to get an understanding but if anything he/she just made it worse.  His over exaggerated persona of what how thought a woman behaved was absurd.  He got a phone call 5 mins into our convo where he offered someone a BJ for a ride home and I was toast!  After he got off the phone he explained to me that the caller was a married man whom he sleeps with from time to time and the man helps him by paying his rent when he needs it.  The conversation could no longer continue after that.  That was wrong on so many levels.

I could literally go one for ever but I won’t.  My issue is how do I explain the man/woman confusion to my son.  I am so open to your ideas!

www.shopturtlepie.com

Lasagna Floret for today’s meatless Monday! January 25, 2010

I’m back on www.meatlessmonday.com doing a cooking demonstration!  Apparently……..they like me!  woooo hooo!

Lasagna Floret

This lasagna recipe is a bit labor intensive but it’s so scrumptious it’s totally worth the time AND it’s super toddler friendly!  My kid cleaned his plate including all of the vegetables.  Recipe is below and you can click on the video to see meeeeeeeee:-)

Recipe:

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 head cauliflower, chopped
• 1 onion, chopped
• 3 large carrots, chopped
• 1 pound of broccoli (head only), chopped
• 8 ounces mushrooms, chopped
• ¼ cup water
• 16 ounce container ricotta cheese
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1 teaspoon dried rosemary
• 1 teaspoon dried basil
• 1 teaspoon dried parsley
• 1 teaspoon garlic, minced
• 3 teaspoons salt
• 1 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 shake red pepper flakes
• 1 pound “no boil” lasagna noodles*
• 8 ounces fresh mozzarella, cut into ½ inch thick slices
• 1 24 ounce jar spaghetti sauce
• 4 ounces white and yellow cheddar cheese, shredded

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375. Lightly grease a lasagna pan.

Preheat a large skillet or pan over medium heat. Add 2 tablespoons of olive oil to the pan. When the oil is heated, add the chopped cauliflower, onions, carrots and broccoli and cook for about 7 minutes, or until vegetables start to soften.

Add the mushrooms and ¼ cup water. Cover and cook for 5 minutes more, or until vegetables have just become tender.

While vegetables are cooking, mix ricotta, oregano, rosemary, basil, parsley, garlic, pepper and 1 ½ teaspoon of the salt together and set aside.

When vegetables are just tender, remove the pan from heat and season with the remaining 1 ½ teaspoon salt and a firm shake of the red pepper flakes.

In the prepared lasagna pan place one layer of no-boil noodles, followed by a layer of mozzarella cheese, then vegetables, then the ricotta-herb mixture, then the spaghetti sauce.

Repeat the layering process for about 2 or 3 more layers until you are out of ingredients. Top the lasagna with the shredded cheddar. Cover lasagna with foil.

Bake covered for 30 minutes. Remove lasagna from oven, uncover, and bake for another 7-10 minutes, or until cheese browns.

Enjoy

www.shopturtlepie.com

No sleep for the co-sleeping mom! January 24, 2010

I’m quite sure that my son has ruined all chances of co-sleeping for his future sibling(s).  He is 20 months old and still wakes in the middle of the night because he wants to get in the bed with me.  Granted this is my own doing but that doesn’t mean I like it!  I had no idea that my allowing my child to sleep with me would lead to this!

It began because I was breastfeeding.  I kept him in the bed with me as it was easier to nurse.  I was going to get a co-sleeper but I think I thought they were all ugly so I decided against it.  We continued this sleep in the bed with mommy system until he was about 7 months.  At seven months I bought him a crib and moved him into his own room.  When he would cry in the middle of the night I would get up and get him and put him in my bed.   In the beginning I was doing it to comfort him.  When I tried to let him cry it out he would turn the water works show on high and scream at the top of his lungs.  Listening to him scream prevented me from sleeping.  I was to paranoid to turn off the monitor so the screaming just kept me awake.  I might as well just get up and get him right?  Right!  That is what I did.

When my son sleeps in the bed with me I still can’t get a peaceful sleep so it was a bad tradeoff.  The kid insist on sleeping on top of my head.  He crawls on top of my head and lies on my ears.  I’m sure you can see how it is hard to sleep in that position.  If I could get him off of me, I worried he would fall off the bed, so I slept light.  I was always tired.  I could not get a good night’s sleep for anything!

Around 13 months I got tough, I let him cry it out for a few nights and it worked!!  He was sleeping in his crib all night!  Until…we went away for Christmas break.  When we went to Canada he slept in the bed with me and I guess he regressed.  When we returned home he started with the whaling until I put him in my bed.  This go round it’s even worse.  The kid and I are in transitional housing as we await our move so his crib is in my bedroom.  He can see me trying to ignore his cries which only infuriates him worse than me not picking him up!  Even when I do pick him up his new thing is wrapping his arms around my neck if I won’t let him sleep on my head.  The cycle starts again.  I get no sleep.

I want to be mad, but I understand that I did this to myself by babying him.  BUT he is my baby he deserves it.  I just know for the future I’m throwing my next kid in the room by herself and feeding her milk through a breast straw that I will invent and stick it through a hole in the door!  I will get sleep!!

www.shopturtlepie.com

Mommy misses the baby:-( January 23, 2010

I have been on the road for 3 days now and I miss my baby.  Such is life, mom has to do what she has to do!  Three more cities to go!

www.shopturtlepie.com